Shhh…I have a SECRET, but y'all are my friends so I'll let you in on it. You see, the fact of the matter is that God is so good and when the bad times come if you can just hang in with all that you've got and have faith it all comes back around!!!

So, what’s up guys? How are you? I hope that everything is well with each and everyone of you. I’m back to say hello and share some good news with you. Sorry that I’ve been away for so long but as I mentioned I had to leave my computer for a bit and go out and live the life that you guys had helped me to put back together. I’ve also been attending what I call my Spiritual Boot Camp, which is the place where faith in God and real life meet. And as with all such experiences I had to be alone to face my fears and, with God’s help, walk out of the wilderness on my own.

The good news, oh yeah, I’m an ATTORNEY again.

The state Oked my application to become a member of the bar and I was sworn on Thursday, July 5th, which will forever be my own personal independence day!!! Yup, as you might have guessed that was one of the big steps that I needed to take to get back to were I was before I totally screwed up my life. (Background for my new blogger friends…I’d painted myself into a corner through a series of bad decisions. It's all in my 1st post if you're not the squeamish type.)

So what did I mean about Spiritual Boot Camp?

Well, I was believing/dreaming/hoping for a whole lot of miracles to happen in my life. They absolutely HAD to or else my life was over which would have left me nothing more to do but to give up and die. You see, the final result of all of my bad decisions was that I ended up a single mother of 3, unemployed, heartbroken, and bankrupt. Things were so bad that when I arrived in MI back in 2005 that I had to go live in a shelter with my baby and apply for public assistance. Since then, from ground zero I’ve been slowly climbing out of the massive hole that I dug for myself. First was dealing with the realization of what I’d done and learning how to forgive and eventually love myself (that part was really hard and in the beginning hurt a lot!) and after that came the actual planning that would ultimately put me on the road to restoration (thus the title of my Blog).

Of course, that’s where y’all came in. You helped me put it all back together by holding my hand when I cried, giving me advice when I asked, and cheering me on when I wanted to quit. Thanks…I hope by now y’all know how much I love you and thank God for y’all!!!

So what had to happen these past few months was that I had to go and live my life behaving as if I knew that lots of things would come to pass. That my bankruptcy would be discharged…that I’d excel at my new job and start making my next level of connections (personal and professional)…that I’d be admitted into the bar…that a whole bunch of other things would happen so that I could put my life back together and they did.

I’ve learned that the essence of faith is having an unknowing belief that it’s going to work out which means you act as if it’s already happened. Fretting, worrying, and fear have no place where there is faith. The reason I had to stop blogging for a bit was that I had to stop seeking reinforcement that things were going to be OK and just know it. I had to walk on my own to prove that I wasn’t just talking the talk but walking the walk.

So I talked about getting my license back…I started to make plans in my head about my next legal job…and finally, I envisioned the day when that little fat envelope would come and I’d open it and it would say, “congratulations!"

So my friends, there you have it, my testimony. God is sooo good!!! Yes, there are bad times…some really bad times when the pain is so bad that you pray for death but you can't give into it. For me there were times when the pain was so intense that I couldn't imagine ever being free from it…at times I wondered if it were possible that it could become a permanent part of my existence. But in the end if you’re able to hold on for just one more day (as the song says) and reach out, God (and His angels) will be there to grab onto you and take the pain away. I promise.

As you can imagine things are even busier (I still have a LOT more to accomplish) than before but so much better. I’ll be moving by August and will finally have a place of my own for the first time in 7 years I won’t be homeless. The cubs are doing great. Each one of them is healthy, doing well academically, and happy. I’ve also met the most wonderful man and am enjoying that part of life once again but taking it very s-l-o-w-l-y as I know I still have lots of healing to do in that area. So I’ll say so long but promise to not be a stranger anymore and try my best to drop in more often but until the move I won’t have regular computer access. But thank y’all for continuing to come by and saying hi from time to time. It's meant a lot to me to log in and read your sweet messages. I’ve thought about y’all often and kept you in my prayers.

You guys have a great summer!!! Talk to you soon!!!

Love, ME