Things haven't been going well. That is, none of my plans or dreams have come true after a significant amount of time. To the contrary, recently some of the precious few things that I have have been taken away from me. And I have to ask...
WHY?

I'm a good person, I'm doing all the things I need to be doing, and I have all the right stuff but still no results. It was painfully clear to me that something was missing, something was wrong. I could tell that there was a block but I just couldn't figure it out.

And then yesterday while I was hanging out at the local christian broadcasting station (I try my best to surround myself with positive people and it's one of my favorite places to be) and talking with the owner it dawned on me what was wrong...it was my focus.

I was seeking things and not GOD.

I was givng God lipservice. Saying that I knew that blessing were on the way without spending the proper time tending to my personal relationship with God. Seeking comfort from people and things rather than God. Holding on to stuff that I needed to let go of.

In essense, trying to do it all by myself.

So, yesterday I turned off the computer and spent the day in prayer and fast. The fast didn't go so well but that's OK I've got time to work on it...LOL. But I KNOW that God didn't bring me this far to leave me...I just needed to get back to the source.

Sometimes all we need to lift us out of our dispair is to hear someone tell us that it's going to be OK.

Thanks for all of the phone calls and chats talking me off the edge of the building ledge.  I love you...LookinforLucy, Taylor, Cher, Rosie, HeatherScot and Ornery...and to all of my other friends here in the Stream who I have yet to talk to in real time. 

...that there are no quick fixes to mistakes as one gets older. The way out is so much harder than when one is young.

The stakes are so much higher and it takes so much more time to fix the mistakes.

I really did have it all but I threw it away. Some days that realization is more painful than others.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance


I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance

(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)


Sung by Lee Ann Womack
Lyrics by Mark D. Sanders & Tia Sillers