Who knew...living a faithful life could be ...FUN?

Well it is and I'm having fun.  As you know today was the day that I was supposed to hear if I got the job.  So I called into the office and the Director says that she wants me to come in for another interview!!!

 

It's down to 2 people and she wants to talk to each of us one more time!!!

But you know I'm not stressing.  God has a plan and this is part of it.  I'm actually tickled by the whole thing.  I get to go in one more time and let my light shine.  This is going to be fun!!!  I really liked the Director so I'm even more excited than I was when I first applied for the position.  Plus there are some other things that if I get this position will put me on the fast track to my restoration (more about that later).

The interview is at 9:30 tuesday morning.  I'll let you guys know as soon as I do.  Please say an extra prayer for me tonight.  Love to all of you. 

 

 

Quick...think of 5-10 words to describe ME.

Don't filter just write.
Don't worry you won't hurt my feeling if you say something negative...I want and need you to be honest, OK? And trust me, I'm not fishing for complements as a matter of fact I'm kinda nervous about doing this post.

Why? Well, I just read an article that asked about who you were and who you hoped to be. One of the things that they suggested is that you ask friends and family how they see you. After I'm done with this post I'll tell you some of the things that I hope to become. Not that I don't like ME but there's always room for improvement, right?

Given where I am in my life I figure that from here on in the world is my oyster. I'm so exited about my future. God has allowed me a redo and I want to take full advantage of it!!! I lost all of my worldly possessions but I gained a faith that I only dreamed of and it has transformed me.

Life is so good!!! Hope that you all are doing well. It's the weekend so I finally get some time to get out and see you all. Until then...

AZRON sent me a Bible verse that I just have to quote to begin this post...

God began doing a good work in you.  And he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again,  I am sure of that.

Philippians 1:6

Today was interview day for a job that would allow me to move out of my ex-husband's house and have my own space.  It's the perfect job for me at this time.  I was 1 of 5 candidates that were called to interview and interviewer said that she'll make her decision next monday.  The interview went well and I went in highly recommended.

The funny thing is that I find myself not wanting to be happy about it.  Again I think it's a protective measure.  I don't want to get my hopes up.  What can I say, it's been a l-o-n-g 16 months of living with my ex with lot of interviews and a lot of rejections and I'm one tired little puppy. 

But you know I'm really fighting this cause I think it's OK to get my hopes up.  I'll even go on record and say that I'm expecting a call next monday saying...you're hired!!!

God has been so good to me I don't want to pick now, when I'm so close to one of my goals, to lose faith.  I've been praying and believing for a Christmas miracle and I do believe that it has already happened.  When y'all prayed for my applications to gain favor things really did start to happen.  I actually received the call for this interview on the 12th (my Bankruptcy day) which meant that they had to have been looking at my resume sometime last week!!!  Plus, it's been the first interview that I had since September!!!

Thank you all for the bottom of my heart.  I can't tell you how much all of your love and support has meant to me this past year.  There were so many times when I just wanted to quit and y'all keep me going.  May God bless each and everyone of you.

PS...the ex also had a job interview today also so please pray for him.

 

Today is a big day for me...it's Bankruptcy day which is a major step in my restoration, that is the cleaning up of my credit.  God willing, after the meeting today I just wait for the discharge (which should happen some time in February).  For those of you who don't know I did a pretty good job of trashing my credit.  I won't go into the gory details cause it really doesn't serve me to keep replaying that old song but it's in my first post if you're interested.  Anyway, the consequences of my actions being that I was turned down from a couple of high paying and prestigious jobs.  I learned all of this about a year ago when I went to interview for a position in my area of practice.  After finding all of this out I went into a pretty deep depression for about a month or so.  Then I finally got up the nerve to ask the hiring manager why I had been rejected and she told me the awful truth.  Right then and there I was looking at never being able to work in the industry that I'd practiced in for almost 15 years.

I was heartbroken and had a tough time processing just what I'd done to myself.  I was standing with bullets in both feet and I was the one holding the gun.  Part of '06 has been about me learning to forgive myself for the mistakes I made.  In hindsight I now realize that I would not have ever come to this place of peace and surrender if I'd not been able to forgive myself.  Amazing the power in forgiveness...simply amazing!!!  Indeed, it was an essential step.

But if I'm going to tell the full story I have to tell you how it was even possible for me to get to this point.  The ONLY reason why I got the opportunity is because someone believed in me and was willing to go the distance for me.  Who is it?  Believe it or not it's my sister-in-law.  Well, I guess technically she is my ex-sister-in-law however she and everyone else in my ex-husband's family never made that distinction.  He divorced me but they didn't.  Each and every one of them has stood by my side since the divorce.  This wonderful family has shown me the meaning of love and loyalty.  Right after the divorce the oldest brother brought his family to visit the cubs and I to let us know that we were still part of the family.  The middle brother and his family who live close by are always asking me what they can do to help out me out.  And never ever have they rejected the baby cub who isn't even in their family, they treat him as if he was their brother's child.

Here's the story...one day I called my sister-in-law, not to ask for anything but to complain about her brother...LOL  Pardon my french but he has moments when his really let's his inner asshole shine.  Anyway, in the middle of the conversation she asked, "what do you need to start to be restored?"  I said that I needed to file bankruptcy and right then and there without even thinking about it she said, "OK you got it find out how much it costs and I'll write out a check."  I remember the moment like it was yesterday. 

I was shocked and all I could say was thank you, however it was quite an unemotional thank you.  I apologized and explained to her that I was so numb, so beaten down by my circumstances and the utter hopelessness that I had no emotions left to rejoice.  Basically, by then I'd left myself for dead.  I really didn't think there was anyway to get out of the hole that I had dug.  She went on and said cheerfully that I was worth the risk of making a loan to even though I had no job and that no other investment she could make would have a better return.  Of course she was wasn't talking about monetary return but the restoration of my dignity so that I might go on to manifest the Glory of God (at the time I didn't know that was the point but know it now).  Finally, she went on to tell me that it was fine and that this is the way it happens.  That if you get to the point where you've given up on yourself someone comes along and offers you a hand.

It's a lot like what we do for each other here in the Stream, isn't it?  My wish and hope and prayer for all of you is that if you ever get to the end of your rope (God I hope not but life happens, right?) you have someone to come along and offer you a hand.  The follow up prayer is that you be given  the opportunity and the resources to then be on the other side. 

For what would be more glorious than to know that you had actually manifested God's love to someone.  That you had done something that meant so much to someone.  That you'd been blessed and was then  able to turn around and be a blessing to someone else

Cause that's what it's all about, right?  That we love each other and take care of each other.  On that note I'm sending all of my love to you guys today.  Thanks for being there.  Take care and may God bless you all .  Love, ME

 

Thank you...for the sweet and kind words of encouragement.  Yesterday was pretty rough however I did mean it when I said that I was not going to let stress or fear grab hold of me.  They tried but then I remembered that God was with me and I had nothing to fear.  Indeed, as bad as things looked everything was going to be OK. 

LookinforLucy hit the nail on the head when she said to look for the lesson.  I woke up at 5 a.m. (after a most restful night's sleep) this morning thinking about that exact thing.  My conclusion was that yesterday happened to show me the power of my Faith, in other words to show me that Faith actually does manifest itself in one's life in the form of a quiet type of strength.  While things fell apart around me I didn't.  To the contrary, I faced it with a sense of peace and acceptance.  I prayed for Steve knowing that God would take care of him and his family.  And then I had an awesome thought just before I called my mum (I just love her she's so great and at 89 years old still there for me).

IF,and this isn't a big IF cause I know its true, God only gives us trials and tests that we are capable of dealing with then I must be a pretty strong person.  There is no other conclusion to come to.  And I'm not trying to be prideful or boasting just coming to the only conclusion that makes sense.  Having said that I have to admit that I felt really good.  See, that's what I mean about having peace.  In the midst of all of that muck yesterday I smiled convinced that things were going to be OK.  Heck, more than OK and that goodness was going to happen to me soon.  That the tests and trials would eventually subside and that ALL of my dreams would come true.

I also had another thought and that was IF, and again it isn't a big IF, God has my back, that is if He is protecting me I can relax...cast my cares...and focus on what I need to do.  Amazing how phrases that up until now were only phrases now have personal meaning to me.  And once again that thought, that feeling was manifested to me.  I did something that I hardly ever do.  I put my PJs on when I went to bed.  What the heck are ya talking about ME?  Well, I usually sleep in my clothes, I know weird, but I think it's another coping mechanism.  That is I'm constantly on red alert thinking that it's all going to fall apart at any moment and I gotta be ready to grab the cubs and run.  But, with God's protection that attitude isn't necessary.  If I need to run I'll get plenty of notice as I already have.  I've already started to look around for places to go in case the ex goes off the deep end and of course everyday I pursue job leads.

So that's my prayer and therapy for the day.  Now I'm going to go out today singing Christmas songs and praising God's name.  I have no idea what the day will bring but I'm expecting GOOD news.  I hope you all have blessed days and know that you're all in my prayers.