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The Restoration of ME


 I Threw The Happy Pills Away Today!!!
 

Happy pills...what the heck is she talking about now?

For the longest time now I've been carrying around a supply of what I call happy pills. OTC medicines consisting of St. John's Wort and something called Mood Mender, which is a mix of St. John's Wort and B vitamins. They are both herbal supplements that are designed to help one maintain a positive attitude.



I took them a lot during my divorce...during that time I had no idea of who I was or how to deal with myself and the world. I needed all the help that I could get. During the divorce I did extensive talk therapy and most importantly, found my faith in God.

So here I am now, in the midst of another crisis, and I feel different. I feel better able to deal with the mess without the medicines. I'm been holding on to them like a spare crutch...just in case I need help.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT...

I think I've developed enough of myself so I can throw away the crutch!!! I feel so much more confident to deal with my problems this time. Not to say the problems are over, far from it. Just that I feel better about my coping skills.

I know it's all symbolic but I think during major emotional reconstruction it's important to have events, celebrations, stuff like that to mark the journey out of HELL!!!

I've even gone to sleeping without the OTC stuff like Benadryl since last friday...I'm doing OK so far. While I do wake up sometimes, I'm now able to get back to sleep.

Oh, and one more point...part of the credit for the development of my coping skills goes to you all. Ever since I came on line New Year's Eve you all have been there listening to me and holding my hand, acting as sounding boards, and giving me advice and guidance. Stand up and take a bow y'all. Words cannot convey how much you mean to me.
Posted by MaryElizabeth at 5:47 PM - 41 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Needed This One Today...
 


If
by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


[OR...Woman...which ever is applicable]
Posted by MaryElizabeth at 6:40 PM - 23 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Rewriting Over Old Memories
 

Or...the Rebuilding of ME.

Today was kinda tough, kinda good. I had to go to Home Depot to pick something up for work. Now Home Depot in of itself is no problem...the problem is that if Steve and I were ever to go out to a store Home Depot would be that store. So at this point with the relationship being in limbo it was a tough trip.

I think this is why I haven't been going out alot...too many memories.



Steve is a do-it-yourselfer...so at this point I know each and every aisle in the store from electrical
to lawn care to his most requested item WD-40

and POWER TOOLS!

Funny, I'd forgotten this so when I went in it hit me like a ton of bricks. Some aisles were OK...they were ones that I'd learned on my own...some I actually avoided like the bathroom aisle. I remember vividly our spending hours designing the new bathroom... Couple of times I caught myself talking to myself, saying it was going to be OK and using deep breathing to calm down.

Such is life...I'll take baby steps in the rebuilding of ME. Sounds like a Blog title, doesn't it

Hope y'all are having a great Sunday. Love to you all.
Posted by MaryElizabeth at 3:53 PM - 28 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Leave Iraq Now
 



As my friend Dazey said...SUPPORT OUR TROOPS WHILE THEY'RE THERE.

WELCOME THEM HOME WITH OPEN ARMS, HEARTS, AND MINDS.
Posted by MaryElizabeth at 8:09 AM - 12 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 That's the Way Love Goes (Part 2)
 

Unresolved

We both know that somethings got to give...

One side or the other must prevail...
there is no way for them to exist together but how to know which is right.

So until we have to make a decision during our time together we'll slip into a space where lovers go.

A place where we can be ourselves, be a couple for one more day of love until that time when unresolved becomes resolved...


Posted by MaryElizabeth at 8:36 AM - 16 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: MaryElizabeth
From Michigan, USA
Age: 45
 
This blog is about...
This blog is about all of the mistakes that I made that ruined my life AND what I am doing to clean... more
 
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