...if any of you guys care to read it it's on the Blog attached to this one and it's called the Battle of Kresh. This is my first time ever doing anything like this and I really don't fancy myself a writer at all. Basically, it's just been a way for me to put some of the puzzle pieces together. Hope you like it...

Go to your fields and gardens, there you learn.
That the pleasure of the bee is to drink the honey of the flower.
And the pleasure of the flower is to submit the honey to the bee.
So for the bee, the flower is a fountain of life.
And for the flower the bee is a messenger of love.
And to both, to give and receive pleasure is a necessity and an ecstasy.



Another Kahlil Gibran poem sent to me from my incredible friend abroad. A few weeks ago she was hiking in the Amazon jungle, now she's in India. She's amazing!!! Hope you all have a great day!!!

Hey all...sorry for being AWOL it's been a rather introspective week for me as you can imagine and I just needed to take a bit of time off. I woke up this morning with my arms around myself. I hope that's a sign of the beginning of healing. I had my first counseling session this week. It went well...I like the therapist, she appears to be competent, cool, and motivating!!!

Thanks to everyone who stopped by and wished me well during the week...

As you all know it's been a tough road for me. But y'all have been there and it's eased my burdens. Raven, as always, thanks for the beautiful poem...AM, always smiles from you, I can't look at Floam and not LOL...Rosie, mate, if not for you I'd have lost it a long time ago, you kept me together...Six, your enthusiasm for life is contagious, I borrowed a bit from you from time to time, hope you didn't mind...Lucy, you're just too amazing, everything you do is excellent as is your friendship...Madie, hearing from you always brings me peace...Sherry, your support and guidance have been a beacon to me...Lou, you've always been there encouraging me when I wanted to just stop...Pilar, you name suits you well, your strength is inspiring...T, you're just too cool, another one who's zest for life is contageous...Gina, it's nice to know someone else has been here before and survived...Dazey, from the beginning you've been there, not judging just supporting...Heather, knowing that you understood where I was emotionally helped me to cope with it better...Girl, you know that your poems inspired me and gave me strength.

And to all of my other Blogging friends who I haven't mentioned (and that's only cause time won't permit me to do so)...I could write a tribute to each and every one of you...thanks. In your own way you've all sustained me during these dark times.

So what happened? Well last Monday as I was driving to work I was sobbing, head in hand sobbing. It made no sense. I could find no comfort, no peace...only pain. That day going to work was like climbing a mountain. I so just wanted to climb into bed and stay...but I had to go on. I knew that the breaking point was coming just didn't know it was so close at hand. On that day my like simply overwhelmed me and made me realize that I wasn't going to get out of this hole by myself...I would need help to do so. And help I was going to get cause I was dammed if I was going to have anymore mornings like that.

And that when I decided that enough was enough.

One more thing...note that this isn't so much about a broken heart from breaking up with Steve. Most of what's getting the best of me is the general restoration of my life. So much lost...so much to get back. But as my therapist said, if it was mine to give away it's mine to take back...I like the way she thinks.

Thank all...

Love ME

Enough is enough...I can't seen to get a handle on this so I'm going to start therapy. Made the call today, will set up an appointment tomorrow. I'll fill in the details soon. Love y'all.

Crawling
by Linkin Park

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Discomfort,endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure