I've been reading a booklet on resiliency wondering if I have what it takes. And despite myself and all of my woe all I can say is "reality is that which, when you stop believing in it it does not go away."
And yes, I am trying to take my own advice.
Anyway, here's what I learned about it...
Everyday we face challenges that test our resilience. But through all of the challenges and transitions-both positive and negative-you still have to stay focused at work and at home and take care of yourself and the people you love and that's easier to do the stronger and more resilient you feel.
How resilient you feel on any given day is a sum of all that's going on in your life---the pressures and responsibilities you face at work and at home, and how you handle all of those demands. Do you take care of yourself? Are you able to put things in perspective? Do you have the support you need so that you are able to cope well with the challenges you face?
The first step in becoming more resilient is to look at your life and how you handle stress, problems, and hardship. Where do you feel weak and where do you feel strong in your life? Here's a quick little quiz. Pick the answer that best describes you.
1. I feel a sense of purpose in my work or personal life.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
2. My view of the world is pretty positive.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
3. I have time for things I enjoy, like being outdoors or being with people I care about.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
4. When I'm faced with a big problem, I usually come up with a solution.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
5. When I need help from a friend, relative, or co-worker, I ask for it.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
6. I take care of myself. I get enough rest exercise and I eat balanced meals.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
7. I feel like I'm growing. I'm learning new things and facing new challenges.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
8. I adapt pretty well to change.
[] yes [] no [] not sure
9. My life feels busy and active in a good way.
[] no [] yes [] not sure
10. When I'm stressed, I have things I do to help reduce my stress.
[] no [] yes [] not sure
IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO 9 OR 10 OF THE QUESTIONS, YOU'RE PROBABLY A VERY RESILIENT PERSON. You probably deal well with challenge and adversity.
IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO 7 OR 8 OF THE QUESTIONS, YOU'RE PROBABLY A PRETTY RESILIENT PERSON. But there may be parts of your life you could become more resilient.
IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO 6 OR FEWER OF THE QUESTIONS, YOU MAY BE FEELING OVERWHELMED OR UNDER A LOT OF STRESS, AND THESE FEELINGS MAY BE AFFECTING YOUR ABILITY TO BOUNCE BACK.
The booklet goes on to outline positive steps that you can take and skills you can acquire to help you feel more resilient and to help you handle the challenges you're facing. It also goes on to say that you might benefit from talking with a professional about what's going on in your life.
1. Work on reducing stress in your life.
-PRAY.
-take advantage of the programs and benefits your company offers to help you reduce stress and balance the demands of your work and personal life.
-try to pinpoint what's causing your stress.
-make an effort to simplify your life, especially if you are under a lot of stress or are recovering from a crisis.
-find ways to relieve tension.
-seek support in your Faith community.
-let go of your anger and forgive!!!
2. Have a positive outlook.
Resilient people tend to have a positive outlook and to see life as filled with challenges rather than defeats. They see difficulties as temporary. Optimism is a skill you can learn.
-tell yourself, "I'm going to feel better."
-focus on the part of your life that feels good today.
-limit negative and self-defeating thoughts.
-spend time with people you like and doing things you like to do.
-use humor to help you see the positive.
3. Take pleasure in the small joys of life.
The small joys of life are what renew us, give us peace, and keep us feeling strong....make time for
such as watching the sunset...eating ice cream...playing with your kids...whatever floats your boat!!!
4. Take an active approach to solving your problems.
Resilient people have an ability to negotiate and renegotiate life. That means being able to anticipate problems and find solutions. Here are some steps to take to successfully tackle problems:
-identify the problem.
-remember that solutions to problems often involve bringing in other people to help.
-act.
-use some of the skills you've learned at work to help you manage your personal life.
-find ways to simplify and organize your life so that the problems and challenges you are facing are manageable.
-try to focus on the things that you have control over.
-try new approaches if your usual approach isn't working.
-look back to how you successfully handled other setbacks and challenges.
5. Rely on and help others.
Paying attention to what you need and asking for help is a sign of resourcefulness and strength, not weakness.
-talk about what you are going through with others.
-learn from people who have been through what you are going through.
get used to accepting help.
-join a support group.
6. Take care of yourself.
Here are some suggestions:
-schedule a checkup if you have not seen your doctor within the last year.
-take your vacation days or personal days from work.
-get exercise.
-keep your life simple.
-limit how much caffeine and alcohol you drink.
-stick to what some experts call the "80/20" rule in your eating...if 80% is healthy, 20% can be whatever you want.
-pay extra attention to taking care of yourself when times are difficult.
-take time to recover.
7. Keep learning and growing.
-branch out.
-learn new skills to perform well at your job-and keep on learning.
-ask yourself if you are "stuck in your ways."
-spend time with people younger and older than you are.
-stop yourself from thinking and saying, "I'm too old to ..."
-remember that the most challenging a situation is, the more you can learn from it.
8. Be ready for change.
The ability to handle change is a key survival skill of all resilient people. Just as the seasons change, our lives change constantly, too.
-try to anticipate change and look ahead to see what's coming.
-make a conscious effort to stay flexible.
-realize that the only real way to change is to do something more than once.
9. Be a doer, not a complainer.
The primary way people bounce back is by doing things.
-get involved
-tell yourself. "I'm going to take this step."
-plan things to look forward to.
10. Find a sense of purpose and commitment.
Studies show that resilient people have a passion or purpose that nourishes and sustains them. Do you feel committed to your family, friendship, and activities you are involved in outside of work? Here are some ways to build a sense of purpose and commitment into your life:
-use challenging life events to stop and think about your choices and to ask fundamental questions.
-identify your focus for the next week or month.
-do volunteer work.
-complete this sentence..."If money were no object and I had all the time in the world, I would...Travel? Paint? Work with disabled children?" Figure out how to translate your big dreams into action.
-look for activities outside of work that bring you a sense of personal achievement, satisfaction, or fulfillment.
Love you guys...take care.
