For those of you who have been sitting at the edge of your seats since May (yeah right, aren't your butts hurting already?) I've finished another installment of the "Battle of Kresh." It's on the Blog attached to this one or you can click on this link, Blogstream. Hope you like it.

Excerpt:
Last time we left Princess Kresh she was heading off to her bed in the field tent to try to get some sleep and ready herself to meet with her generals to try to come up with a way to end the wars. The wars have not gone well and the Kingdom is on the brink of being captured by Marth, an evil dictator who wants to take over Kresh's Kingdom. Indeed, Marth wants more than the Princess' Kingdom he wants her heart, mind, body, and soul and won't rest until his goal is reached. The Princess must find an answer or else die. A story about the eternal struggle of good vs. evil, perhaps, but more accurately a story about a woman trying to find her place in the world.



Yup, that's my girl. Isn't she awesome?

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."
~Eleanor Roosevelt



Self Esteem...what is it? Off the top of my head I'd say loving oneself but as with all things in life I know there's more to it than that. So I set out on one of my research expeditions. My experience has showed me that self esteem is one among many other key elements that make up the very core of our beings, that is, it shapes who we are and what we do. And the one thing that hit me square in the face was that self esteem is a very very important piece in a person's emotional development but one that I didn't pay much attention to all of my years. Why? Perhaps I was too busy with the business of life...learning, relating to others, surviving. The good news is that I was able to accomplish quite a bit without attending to it. The bad news is that none of it seems to have had much staying power. Almost like a tree that grows in the sand, that is unless the tree grows deep roots, i.e. develops self esteem, when the storm comes it will be uprooted with all of the fruit that it bore strewn all over the shore, wondering, "What the hell just happened?!"


"A person's worth in this world is estimated according to the value they put on themselves."
~Jean De La Bruyere


So what I've decided to do is to embark on a conscious and deliberate journey to my self esteem. I'm actually pretty geeked about the whole idea. That is, I'm going to devote time to getting my self esteem to a healthy and workable level. I don't think I have far to go but who knows? I do know that if I don't work on it I'll continue to make BAD DECISIONS. As the quote below says, "Self-respect permeates every aspect of your life."

Thus, every weekend and possibly more during the week in between my other deep thoughts (he he) I'll be posting a piece devoted to self esteem. I hope that you all will enjoy it and that maybe it will help someone other than me. Of course, the usual attorney disclaimer here, I'm not an expert but I'd sure love to have some company if anyone would like to come along for the ride. I think that a few interesting dialogues could stem from this course of study.


Next: Self Esteem post...quizzes...even found one just for men...woo hoo!!!


"Self-respect permeates every aspect of your life."
~Joe Clark


Here's one of many definitions. Basically, self-esteem or self-worth includes a person's subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree. Self-esteem involves both self-relevant beliefs (e.g., "I am competent/incompetent", "I am liked/disliked") and associated self-relevant emotions (e.g., triumph/despair, pride/shame). It also finds expression in behavior (e.g., assertiveness/timorousness, confidence/caution). Finally, self-esteem can be specific to a particular dimension (e.g., "I believe I am a good writer, and feel proud of that in particular") or global in extent (e.g., "I believe I am a good person, and feel proud of myself in general").


"Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world making the most of one's best."
~Harry Emerson Fosdick

Sitting here in the early morning alone I am at peace with myself
no fear...no sadness...no loneliness.
All gone for the moment replaced by the stillness of the coming day.
The stillness is a sanctuary allowing me a time and place to remove the armor and rest on this island for a bit.

But why can't every moment be so unencumbered?
Soon, very soon I know the world will come rushing in and this peace will evaporate, overcome and drowned out by the circumstances of my life and I'll have to suit up again and ride off into battle.

But for now, sitting here in the stillness, watching the sun rise and listening to my child sleep all is well and I am at peace.
This magic time I'll cherish knowing that even after it's gone other moments are yet to come.

Whew! The past couple of days have been action packed and my head is throbbing from all of the thinking that I've been doing. And I know I still have a long way to go but it's nice to catch a break from the battle every now and then, ya know? Anyway, some relief came my way this afternoon. This might seem kinda mean but my ex-husband went on vaca today and I'm so happy that he's gone...so very very happy. For those of you who don't know he's been kind enough to let me stay at his house for the past year but boy oh boy what a painful year it's been. But who cares cause it gets even better, I'm off this week so I'll really get some honest to God ME time!!!

So I'm over here dancing the jig and singing..."Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead! Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!"...he's gone, gone, gone (well at least until Friday that is). Pardon my french but (oh no, she's gonna swear, cover your ears) I don't know whether to shit or go blind....LOL...you have no idea...I'm literally drunk with excitement!!! I'm sorry I'm only human and living with the man has been pure hell. Every chance he gets he tries to remind me that I'm a failure (as if I didn't already have enough to contend with, i.e. the whole Steve situation) and that the ONLY reason why he let me stay was for the sake of the children. But I have no prob with that, I haven't had any expectation of warmth from him for a long time now. Those tears have been cried and hold no power over me anymore.

And of course, when he would make such comments I knew better so I'd just take out my Wonder Woman Golden Handcuffs, put them on and deflect them. Tell me you didn't forget about the handcuffs?! Anyway, the good news is that hopefully it won't be for much longer. Of course that will put more of a financial strain on me but I don't care.

And this week, if nothing decides to take my time, I'm gonna work on some posts that I've wanted to do for awhile (hear that Six, you just might get that Dave Matthews article from me) since I won't have to worry about him monitoring my computer time for a week. I'm also thinking about starting up a reoccurring self-esteem piece that I'll add to my regular Blog that folks can participate in if they want to. I gotta do it for me so if some of you guys would like to join in I'd love to have company. And I'm gonna watch me some adult movies (no sillies, not that type of adult...I mean drama). First movie in the player...The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, the 1981 version that is. Now, if I can just stay awake long enough to watch it...he he!!! Probably take me all week to do so.

Anyway, did you guys hear...MY OWN SPACE...after my Gosh I don't remember...it's been too long!!! Oh, what a glorious feeling. And I swear I'll never ever take such things for granted again.

I'm gonna have my own space again...weeeeee!!! Come on, sing with me...

Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Follow the Yellow Brick Road.
Follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.
Follow the Yellow Brick, Follow the Yellow Brick,
Follow the Yellow Brick Road.



We're off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz! there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz! there was The Wizard of Oz is one because,
Because, because, because, because, because.
Because of the wonderful things he does.
We're off to see the Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

So let it be written, so let it be done.