Shhh…I have a SECRET, but y'all are my friends so I'll let you in on it. You see, the fact of the matter is that God is so good and when the bad times come if you can just hang in with all that you've got and have faith it all comes back around!!!

So, what’s up guys? How are you? I hope that everything is well with each and everyone of you. I’m back to say hello and share some good news with you. Sorry that I’ve been away for so long but as I mentioned I had to leave my computer for a bit and go out and live the life that you guys had helped me to put back together. I’ve also been attending what I call my Spiritual Boot Camp, which is the place where faith in God and real life meet. And as with all such experiences I had to be alone to face my fears and, with God’s help, walk out of the wilderness on my own.

The good news, oh yeah, I’m an ATTORNEY again.

The state Oked my application to become a member of the bar and I was sworn on Thursday, July 5th, which will forever be my own personal independence day!!! Yup, as you might have guessed that was one of the big steps that I needed to take to get back to were I was before I totally screwed up my life. (Background for my new blogger friends…I’d painted myself into a corner through a series of bad decisions. It's all in my 1st post if you're not the squeamish type.)

So what did I mean about Spiritual Boot Camp?

Well, I was believing/dreaming/hoping for a whole lot of miracles to happen in my life. They absolutely HAD to or else my life was over which would have left me nothing more to do but to give up and die. You see, the final result of all of my bad decisions was that I ended up a single mother of 3, unemployed, heartbroken, and bankrupt. Things were so bad that when I arrived in MI back in 2005 that I had to go live in a shelter with my baby and apply for public assistance. Since then, from ground zero I’ve been slowly climbing out of the massive hole that I dug for myself. First was dealing with the realization of what I’d done and learning how to forgive and eventually love myself (that part was really hard and in the beginning hurt a lot!) and after that came the actual planning that would ultimately put me on the road to restoration (thus the title of my Blog).

Of course, that’s where y’all came in. You helped me put it all back together by holding my hand when I cried, giving me advice when I asked, and cheering me on when I wanted to quit. Thanks…I hope by now y’all know how much I love you and thank God for y’all!!!

So what had to happen these past few months was that I had to go and live my life behaving as if I knew that lots of things would come to pass. That my bankruptcy would be discharged…that I’d excel at my new job and start making my next level of connections (personal and professional)…that I’d be admitted into the bar…that a whole bunch of other things would happen so that I could put my life back together and they did.

I’ve learned that the essence of faith is having an unknowing belief that it’s going to work out which means you act as if it’s already happened. Fretting, worrying, and fear have no place where there is faith. The reason I had to stop blogging for a bit was that I had to stop seeking reinforcement that things were going to be OK and just know it. I had to walk on my own to prove that I wasn’t just talking the talk but walking the walk.

So I talked about getting my license back…I started to make plans in my head about my next legal job…and finally, I envisioned the day when that little fat envelope would come and I’d open it and it would say, “congratulations!"

So my friends, there you have it, my testimony. God is sooo good!!! Yes, there are bad times…some really bad times when the pain is so bad that you pray for death but you can't give into it. For me there were times when the pain was so intense that I couldn't imagine ever being free from it…at times I wondered if it were possible that it could become a permanent part of my existence. But in the end if you’re able to hold on for just one more day (as the song says) and reach out, God (and His angels) will be there to grab onto you and take the pain away. I promise.

As you can imagine things are even busier (I still have a LOT more to accomplish) than before but so much better. I’ll be moving by August and will finally have a place of my own for the first time in 7 years I won’t be homeless. The cubs are doing great. Each one of them is healthy, doing well academically, and happy. I’ve also met the most wonderful man and am enjoying that part of life once again but taking it very s-l-o-w-l-y as I know I still have lots of healing to do in that area. So I’ll say so long but promise to not be a stranger anymore and try my best to drop in more often but until the move I won’t have regular computer access. But thank y’all for continuing to come by and saying hi from time to time. It's meant a lot to me to log in and read your sweet messages. I’ve thought about y’all often and kept you in my prayers.

You guys have a great summer!!! Talk to you soon!!!

Love, ME

Hey guys, what's up? Just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be taking a break from the Stream but I couldn't do so without saying goodbye. During this past year I've actually come to know and love some of you. You've been my life line and I thank God for each and everyone of you. However, this life that you helped me put back together (which, by the way, is still very much a work-in-process but going extremely well) is calling for to not just sit on the sideline but to live it and that's what I've been doing lately. Sadly, however, doing so has left me with little time to keep up with my Blog and y'all. So I think the healthy thing for me to do is to take a break and say goodbye for a bit while I figure things out.

But knowing that I was leaving I did want to say thanks in my own very special ME way. So let me frame it up for you. Hang with me on this one OK? You know that I get inspired by some pretty interesting and sometimes different things.

Anyway, I just watched the movie, The Lady in the Water. It's a fairy tale...yes, I realize that...but sometimes I like to look at my life in such a manner. Inside I'm still a kid and I like to believe that there still is magic in the world and that happily ever after is still possible.

Anyway, the movie is about a race of people called Narfs, who's job it is to help people. The way it works is that the person who is going to make a difference in the world only needs to see a Narf and then they're inspired with an idea that will help them become a shining lamp of goodness to the world. However, it's not so easy for the person to hook up with their Narf and that's where other humans come into play to help out.

In the movie they came up with 4 types of helpers:

symbolist (the person who is able to read the situation when things go wrong and come up with a strategy to get things back on track), guardian (the person who is able to face the evil that is threatening the Narf), guild (a group of people who aid in an event that will help complete the Narf's journey), and healer (the person who is able to heal the Narf's wounds).

So as I give thanks to you all I'm going to put it all into a similar framework with a few new types added (i.e. mentors, role models, etc.). But the point is that I didn't get to this point without a LOT of help. I came to the Stream a broken person reaching out to whoever was willing to reach back to me and help me.

Mentors: Taylor, LookinforLucy, Raven, Wayf and AZRON

(thank you for all of the valuable lessons that you taught me...I learned about faith, perspective, relationships and self-esteem)

Role models: La La aka Lucy, Val, HeatherScot, Mac, Pretty Rubble, Nightbug, Sherrena, Daisy, Gary, Connie, Jonnie, PolarB and BlackNapalm

(watching y'll always inspired me and reminded me of the strength and beauty of the human spirit which was just what I needed to keep going)

Consultants: Sixx and Biggie T

(you two were right there when I needed specific questions answered and inspired me with your awesome sense of life)

Symbolists: Ornery, Colo, and Cher

(when I couldn't understand what was going on you took the time to explain things to me and help me wrap my mind around things that I just didn't get)

Healers: Rosie and Petra

(you two taught me about hope and dreaming and gave me a vehicle to get to the other side of dispair)

Guardians: Topaz and Lou

(when I wanted to give into the darkness you were always there standing beside me helping me to chase it away not give into it)

Guild members: Captain and Chey, Madie, Gina, SammyJo, Prank, Whit, Scratch, Sherry, Art, Sheree, KellyJ, Hope and everyone else who's ever left a comment for me

(you guys...helped lift my heart, clear my mind, and wiped the tears from my eyes and reminded me that I had some real good friends who cared which helped me to not feel so alone in the midst of my pain and confusion)

So, that's it. Good bye my dears. Take care all and know that I love you all. You are, and will always be, an important part of my life and I carry all of your thoughts and sentiments with me everyday. Know that I'll be thinking about you and you're in my prayers.

When will I be back? 2 weeks...2 months...don't know. But you know I just couldn't leave without leaving a bit of my boy Dave Matthews with one of my main themes in my place...enjoy!!!

Hello!!!  How are y'all?  It been what seems like forever since I posted something!!!  The job is going wonderful and keeping me busy.  Wow, was this what life  was like before?  

I never knew how much of life that work takes.  It seems that it really extends into all aspects of one's life.  You go to work all day...pick up the kids...go home and cook...and then collapse.  If I'd sat down in front of the computer any time during this past month I would've just stared at it...lol.  I guess I just have to get used to working fulltime again but compared to the last few years of unemployment I'm really shocked at how much of your life work consumes. 

Not that I'm complaining, God no, this is a welcome busy and once I get used to it again I'll get back in balance.  In the meantime, I just wanted to let you guys know that I was alive and kicking.  I miss y'all and think about you often.  So hold my spot please here in the Stream cause I'll be back soon.

PS...please, if you would, say a prayer for my baby cub.   I guess that would be my little tyke in the middle. I love each one of them so much. But anyway, tomorrow he has to go into the OR for dental surgery.  Because he wasn't able to tolerate the office visits he has to go to the hospital to have the work done.  Obviously I'll be with him up until he goes into the OR but it still is a scary thing for him to have to go through and it will only be the two of us at the hospital going through this.  He'll be heading into the operating room around 2pm.  Thanks guys. 

Love, ME

 

GOOD PROBLEMS, it's an oxymoron right? But that doesn't mean that they don't exist!!! And gosh darn it's about time I had more good problems than bad problems, don't ya think?! So what am I complaining about (nod nod wink wink)?

OFFICE SNACKS!!! In the last 9 days I was offered (and consumed) a small box of gourmet chocolates (which I shared with the cubs by the way), a small piece of homemade fudge, and a homemade cookie and cupcake.

I did well in the beginning and turned down the store brought sweets that I was offered but who can (or even wants to try) to turn down gourmet chocolate!!! This was made by the neighborhood chocolatier (can you imagine I have a chocolate shop within walking distance?). But don't feel to bad for me it's one of my better problems and it's offset by one of my other GOOD PROBLEMS which is...

LOVING EXERCISE!!! Sorry I have to admit it, I'm one of those folks who can't stay out of the gym...lol. Look at that Bunny go!!! Go Bunny Go!!! I started back this week and it feels sooooo good!!!

Take care you all...it's snowing here in Michigan so we'll see if we finally get our first taste of winter. Woo Hoo!!!...as a former New Englander I just love snow!!! Hopefully we'll get enough so that the cubs and I will get the chance to go out and play in it!!!

Love, ME

PS...if you guys have any snack management techniques I'd love to hear them!!!

This is so cool you guys. Check this video out, it was made by the Director of my office. It is a piece showcasing our neighborhood and as I come to the end of my second week I see more and more why taking this job was a good move for me.

You see for the past 6 years or so I haven't belonged anywhere. When I sold my house I rented for a bit then moved in with Steve. But even then we weren't there for long until we moved down to SW Virginia and I only stayed down there for a year or so. The bottom line was that I never got to put roots down anywhere.

So a year and one half ago I found myself in Michigan and wondered if I'd ever find a place that I'd be able to call home. I figured that I'd just put my time in here and then move as soon as the cubs graduated from school (the cubs being the only reason why I came to Michigan).

But this job...this place...is going to force me to put down roots whether I like it or not. Everyday I learn more and more about my community and help to make it a better place.

Something in my heart tells me that I'm home.

Things are really busy and I'm so sorry for being an absentee landlord of my Blog. But the weekend is coming so I'll catch up with you guys then. Until then I hope that you are all well. Miss you all. Take care and may God bless.

Love, ME